Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Ackbar's Adventures: San Francisco

Lizzie and I decided to take a little trip into the city.  We had heard BART was an interesting experience, so we went to the nearest station.  Little did we know that the journey would be fraught with danger.

Still, we had heard many good things about this beautiful city by the bay, so despite the threats to our safety, we waited patiently for a train to arrive.

And waited...

We thought perhaps there was some sort of sensor that might need to be triggered by a larger entity to make the train come, so we decided to hitch a ride in what we heard was called a "hoodie."

The ride into the city was long and arduous.  Lizzie and I passed the time by staring out the window.

I asked our hoodie if it would be much longer.  He said he wasn't quite sure, but that he was getting hungry. I took that as a warning and tried to keep my distance.

When our hoodie got off the train and finally stopped, we appeared to be on some sort of platform.  Lizzie saw a silo of what appeared to be giant fried slices of tuber and fruit near some wading pools of different colored muds.

I told Lizzie to stay back as I approached the silo.  "Coast is clear," I called out to her.

Little did I know the hungry hoodie was also indulging on these fried delectables.

Lizzie tried to warn me, but I was too hungry.

"Look out, you stupid fish face!" she shouted.  Lizzie is not very nice when she is upset.

Do not worry, readers.  I was mostly unharmed.  I wondered if I was ejected by the dreaded "electric third rail."

I ran off to hide behind what appeared to be a lime slice aquarium. Lizzie kept watch for our next opportunity.

When a swimming pool of food arrived at the table, we realized the hoodie would be distracted by it.

We made a break for it and leapt into the silo of fried goodness.

There wasn't much left by hoodie standards, but there was enough for us.  We got some food and made our way back out of the silo.

Lizzie and I sat and enjoyed the fried fruits of our labor.

But, we did not have long to enjoy our meal.  Moments later, an abomination was laid down before us.  It pains me to recall what occurred next, but it is only to warn my ocean brethren readers, should you come to visit this place.  Lizzie and I looked down in horror as we saw what appeared to be large pieces of fish on a skewer.

We ran as fast as we could off of the platform and when we were outside again, we saw the big sign that said La Mar.  I gasped... "The Sea"... I then wondered if the swimming pool of food could also have been the fish torture I'd only heard about in childhood ghost stories, hidden beneath the enormous onions: cebiche.

Lizzie and I decided we could no longer travel with the hoodie.  We were on our own to continue our exploration.  The road looked long and arduous, but we were prepared.  After what we had just seen, we thought nothing could be worse.

We took a moment of silence for the victims and gazed out at the ocean.  Perhaps they were now swimming in some great ocean in the sky.

As we walked, I saw Lizzie looking at something.  "What is it?" I asked her.  I turned around and to my shock and horror, I saw another atrocity.

This poor octopus had suffered the same fate as Han Solo!  "Don't worry my cephalopod friend! I will save you somehow!"

As we looked down, we saw there were many other sea creatures.  "Maybe it's art?  Perhaps it's some sort of memorial to your people by the hoodies to apologize for eating them?"

I stared down at all the other statues and I wondered if it were true.  It was then that I saw another mortal enemy of small sea creatures and I knew we had to get out of there.

I saw a massive weapon that I thought could be used to exact revenge on the hoodies for their crimes against my people.

Then I found an escape method.  "After we're done destroying the planet with the weapon, we could leave forever and never come back!" I told Lizzie excitedly.  "Um, I don't want to leave," she said sadly.

We walked around and I continued to ponder the situation.  We passed by some sort of zoo.  The animals appeared friendly. I asked them if they wanted in on my revenge plan.  "Who me?" said the dragon. "Me like people. Please no destroy."

Suddenly, I remembered that hoodies take care of Monster.  And Monster is our friend.  I looked at Lizzie.  She must have sensed what I was thinking.  "It would be so much work to kill everyone and I'm tired.  Can't we just go home and see Monster?" she whined.  We decided to find our hoodie again and we smuggled ourselves aboard.  Just another thing Han taught me.

Once we arrived back home, we greeted Monster and snuggled in for a nap.  And so ended our first San Francisco adventure.

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